


atlas stopped to rest

by unhappyrefrain



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pokemon ORAS
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 22:13:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3185099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unhappyrefrain/pseuds/unhappyrefrain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zinnia has expectations, and she can't meet any of them. (pre-delta episode)</p>
            </blockquote>





	atlas stopped to rest

**Author's Note:**

> why is there no zinnia fic up in here, this needs to change
> 
> a venty thing i did so it's rushed and tiny but w/e w/e  
> also no one knows what aster's relationship to zinnia really is but until we find out, they were dating tbh

Your people have been telling of this moment for hundreds of years, just as they told of it before. It is your turn, your burden now, carrying the weight of craters and mountains and stars burning out on your shoulders. You are the final stronghold between Hoenn and disaster, between existence snuffed out in the span of two seconds. _The meteoroid could break the planet entirely,_ you hear them say, over and over like the too-familiar roaring of a waterfall. You've always been less inclined to listen to scientists than the truths of your own people, but this feels strong, centered, and terrifying. And you are the only wall between it and this planet, this world you and your ancestors have sworn to protect.

But there is something so weary inside you, something curving outwards and swallowing all of you. You are not good enough. God, who knows how all the other Lorekeepers felt when they kept the history of this world tight to their chest, setting it like a stone in the space between their ribcage, who knows what they saw? You had hoped to feel heroic, empowered by it all, because you're _sure_  that's how it felt for everyone else in your position, but now you just feel empty and broken and full of fear.

You're not anyone's hero, and you're not good enough to pretend you are. Maybe it's the fact that none of the other Lorekeepers had to live in a world that they knew was just days away from being wiped out, but you are sapped of strength and you have nothing left. There's nothing left within you but the silence, the endless indifference of the night, only the stars looking back at you.

You start to feel sick. You start to want to destroy yourself, turn your entire being inside out and rip out the emotions from where they are attached to your bones because you can't-- you you _can't_ \-- your lip is wobbling and oh god oh god you're scared, trembling and in fear of the night, you're not supposed to be like this but you think that maybe something went wrong when you were born and they knew about it but they cut the umbilical cord and immediately bestowed-- why would you consider this all a _gift_ , for fucks sake, something you should be _grateful_ for-- god they gave you the history of this burning circling world and expected you to learn to stand up on your own with that extra weight, because you know how things will end and you suddenly feel frozen and unable to stop it-- you want to scream you want to die and you miss her, her face floats to the surface of your memory every time you get like this, you miss aster and how she used to hold your hand when this happened and you'd shake all over trying to tell her what-- what you had been carrying that made your gait so swaying unbalanced, but she knew and you couldn't explain it to her anyway what would you do just sit there and say--

 

aster

aster

you remember aster looking at you with eyes that felt like galaxies to your telescopic pupils and the waves crashing on the beach as you sat on the edge where the white granite of meteor falls sang love songs to the air, you were young and you kept trying to forget that it was all yours to drag around, you distracted yourself with summers and stolen kisses and the feel of dragonskin against your fingers, they pretended like it was some sort of honor but oh no, oh no no no there is no honor in knowing what the world has forgotten because theres a reason they had to forget

you have to end this and you have to end it soon and with your own power but you are so weak and it just reminds you of how you are the end and she was only the beginning your names even said the same thing so why didnt you go first oh why why youve lost so much in such a short period of time and the only thing that will remain when the meteoroid rips through this planet and pierces your heart like a sacrificial blade is

 

a desert

and the stars

 

cut the strings and wait for the sword to fall


End file.
